I help people clarify and meet their goals but I also help people feel stronger and more confident about who they are. Today I’m sharing a “behind the scenes” strategy I use to help my clients remember who they really are and feel more self-assured.
There are many reasons why a person might not feel as successful as they deserve to feel.
- Maybe you’re in a job that is no longer challenging, is not aligned with your personality, or is not treating you with the respect you warrant.
- Maybe you’ve suffered a loss such as a death of a cherished loved one, the end of a long relationship, a personal illness.
- Maybe you’re juggling career, children, and household and it’s all just too much.
Whatever the reason, we all have times when we feel a lack of personal power. And while there is a time to get in touch with your emotional state…drawing the emotions out even…sometimes the name of the game is to transform this state.
So let me ask you…if you were to think back, way back….
How can you tell your story through the lens of success?
Whether your life has been one of challenge or ease, with a favorable attitude, search for a narrative in your life where you were successful. No matter what happened in your past, dramatic or mundane, there is something to admire.
Sit down now with a piece of paper, use a voice recording app, or just get ready to daydream and begin tell a story of a time when you made it happen.
Remember, the thing about storytelling is not how worthy the story is, it’s about the feeling the story conjures. You have already been successful…whether it was getting back in shape after putting on the college 20, landing an impossible job, mastering a sport, or getting around in a foreign country using an unfamiliar tongue. Tell this story of success and you will begin to remember, you will begin to feel successful again.
When I was very young I had fantasies of traveling. I often felt suffocated amid strip mall after strip mall in the suburbs and longed for something more fertile. I talked about it with my family but often got the message that girls didn’t go off traveling on their own.
When I became old enough I packed my bags and hit the road. I travelled with friends, and sometimes alone, for about five years. I saw most of the U.S. this way, living in my car, working at restaurants, saving up enough to keep going.
In my mind’s eye I can remember so many experiences from then…I see myself driving a late night on a curvy Appalachian mountain road while a gigantic low orange harvest moon met me as though we had a deep clandestine plan. As though it had been waiting for me all along.
Private and rich moments such as this meant so much to me, but at the same time I didn’t classify my experience of traveling across the U.S. as brave. I didn’t see myself as successful.
By the time I went back home and decided to “do something with my life” I felt rather insecure. What did I have to offer? What skills did I have? What had I even been doing all those years? My perspective was that I had to start from scratch and build something of my life. What I was lacking was confidence and the ability to tell my story of success.
I had had a dream, albeit a daydream, but nonetheless, I had a desire to travel across the country and I made that happen. That is what success is all about.
I eventually found my way past that sense of insecurity and moved on to the next phase of my life. Still, when I look back now, I realize I was quite bold and brave. During those years, I had moments of fear and doubt, and I put one foot in front of the other and kept moving forward. I learned a lot about people, about thinking outside the box, about living with ambiguity, creative problem solving, and following my gut. Now, taking the time to tell this story, I feel rather grounded and strong. And that’s really the point here.
If you’re still uncertain where to begin your story of success, here are a few questions that might get you recognizing and telling it:
Was there a time when you felt stuck and you did something to change that?
Was there a time when you were very scared but you moved forward anyway?
What would you consider one of the biggest challenges of your life? What happened?
Can you think of an obstacle you overcame?
Can you think of something you didn’t know but then learned?
Can you think of a time when you had a profound realization? What came of that?
Has something ever happened in your life that changed you? What was it? How were you changed?
Please inspire us and tell us your story of success in the comments.