Maintaining Self-Love in a Relationship

Self love is the foundation to any successful relationship. When you’re in love it is easy to put your partner’s needs ahead of yours. Maintaining your self love is important. Ignite Your Potential professionals have curate tips to help you maintain and grow your self-love while loving others.

 

“Self-love is not selfish; you cannot truly love another until you know how to love yourself.”  

 

Maintain Mental and Physical Health

Keeping your mind and body healthy exemplifies your love for yourself. In order to keep your mind healthy, avoid ignoring or dismissing your feelings. If you support others, when you are not mentally balanced, you will become drained, mentally and physically. Consider seeing a therapist or coach to cultivate mental wellness. Smart people see therapists and coaches in order to review what is going on in their minds and with their emotions. It’s a space to process all the things you experience day to day. 

“Mind and body are not separate, what affects one, affects the other.”

Alone Time

Alone time gives you space to self-reflect, track your goals, and grow as an individual. It’s hard to dedicate attention to your own needs if you are often preoccupied with someone else or with your work life. Include “me” time in your schedule to do something you genuinely enjoy. Your quality of life will thrive.

“When we can be alone, we can enjoy time with others without using them as a means to escape.”

Know Your Worth

Develop a relationship with yourself first, in other words, be your own best friend. Once you recognize your value, others will too. Then, when the right person comes along, it’s a great addition instead of a dependency for self-worth. 

“Your relationship with yourself sets the tone for every other relationship you have.”

Ignite Your Potential coaches, suggest entering relationships as a “whole person” looking for another whole person to blend and share a beautiful life with. As opposed to a “half” looking for another “half” to complete you. This will make a difference in the quality of your relationships. 

“A healthy relationship is when two individuals come together and agree to help make the other person the best version of themselves.” 

Our award-winning coaches at the Ignite Your Potential Centers offer a complimentary 25-minute phone session to help maintain your self love in a relationship! We are the #1 career coaches in San Francisco and the #1 career coaches in Los Angeles, let us show you how we earned that praise.

 

How Are You Living?

If you know a smart chiropractor, naturopathic doctor, fitness trainer, nutritionist, or pilates expert, if they are helping you lose weight or get healthier, they will ask you to do a food journal. Many of you may have tried this as a way to increase your awareness about what you are putting into your body. In fact, several studies have shown that people who keep a food diary are more likely to be successful in losing weight and keeping it off.

But have you ever considered using a similar method to increase your awareness about yourself in general? In other words, instead of a food journal…what about a How Are You Living Journal?

Sometimes it’s hard to observe ourselves…like fish observing water. But there are ways we can gather this information.

Play the Researcher

Researchers are trained not to judge their findings: whatever they uncover, they observe it, sit with it, document it, come to know it. When you do this for yourself, the information can help you achieve your goals.

Sometimes observation alone can produce change. Sometimes it’s the beginning of a process. Whatever the case, I have consistently witnessed that…awareness rules.

Record the Moment

In the directions below, I detail how to start, and keep, your Living Journal.

1. Program an alert into your phone so that several times a day you are reminded to ask yourself these questions.
2. Jot down small notes about what you see. It’s best to do this in a given moment, rather than noting some things at the end of your day. What we think is going on with us and what is actually going on with us can be slightly different. We all have blind spots.
3. If you’re doing this alone, remember to look it over each week – just writing it down is not enough to bring it into your awareness.
When we’re working together, I ask my clients to bring the journal to our check-in.
4. Consider these questions. There’s no need to answer them all, but let them jog your thoughts to record what you’re feeling in the moment…

Mind
What is running through your mind?
What is going on with your internal dialog?
What’s the emotional tone? Mellow? Kind? Grumpy? Silly?
How might you describe the atmosphere of your head space?

Body
What is your body language saying in this moment?
Are you breathing deeply or shallowly?
Do you feel tired?
Are you hydrated enough?
How would you classify what you’ve eaten today? Vibrant? Fine? Call the health department?
Take a moment to notice your body. Any tension areas? How do you feel?

Connection
Are you alone or with others?
Would you say you’re present or off in the world of thoughts?
What’s happening around you? What do you notice?

Actions
Any particular behaviors you’d like to note? Going to the gym? Moving your body in some way? Are you meditating? Are you in a bar with your buddies? Anything self-care related going on?

Assess How You Are Living

All of these questions give you information about the states-of-mind you hang out in, how you may be dragging yourself down or draining yourself of energy, how you are supporting yourself, how certain foods may be affecting you. It gives a snap shot of how you are really living.

After a week, take a look at your journal and take note: Has anything surprised you? What patterns have you noticed? What do you make of it all?

If we were in session, we would go over your journal together…

Happiness Exists in Giving the World What You Want the Most

I consider a presentation of value when at some point I become moved. It’s that emotional reaction when the topic works it’s way into my heart and suddenly everything is different. Sometimes I am teary, but more than that, I feel expanded and inspired to pass that feeling on.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NQvMQEB0j_A]

Eve Ensler gives many things within this video. I loved the image she shared of being in Afghanistan and seeing women who have found a way to keep pleasure alive. Most of all I resonate with the idea that when we give to the world what we want the most we heal the broken part inside each of us. “Happiness exists in action, it exists in telling the truth and saying what your truth is, and it exists in giving the world what you want the most.”

What do you want the most? Healing. Love. Integrity. Discovery of undeveloped potential. Innocence. Time for being silly. Random acts of kindness. Passion. To be seen. To be heard. Nourishment. Health. Abundance. To enjoy what is simple and slow. Honor. Respect. How will you give it? Begin now.

Self Worth: A Powerful Tool in a Vibrant Life – Quiz Included

Vibrantly healthy and successful people have a sense of self worth. This self love or self-esteem is the notion that we are valuable and deserving of success, love, and respect. It’s a soft feeling of easy nurturance and caring for oneself.

Our childhood experiences play a part in what we think we are worth. If our parents had low self image, they modeled this, and soon we too felt we weren’t good enough. If we were bullied or mistreated, if our boundaries weren’t respected, if expectations were too high for our developmental level, if we were in a stressed environment, (and the list goes on) we began to believe something was wrong with us. When this happens, we can come to believe that we deserve the mistreatment and then perpetuate the belief by unconsciously choosing people and situations that continue to mistreat us.

So I am here to tell you, if you are stuck in a cycle where deep down inside you secretly know you are not good enough or worthy of good things, that deep down you aren’t like other people because you are flawed, I am here to tell you you are mistaken. It just doesn’t work that way. Life is a dance between what we are and what we can be. It’s time for you to take matters into your own hands. I challenge you to increase your self worth.

The reason it’s called self worth is because you determine it. At the end of the day, you are the one that gets to decide if you deserve respect and love…and then give it to yourself. Still, if it’s helpful in any way, let me affirm for you, just by being here on this blue turning ball in the stars: You deserve friends who are good listeners and want you to be the best you can be. You deserve to eat healthy, vibrant food that makes your body feel good. You deserve love. You deserve to have your needs met. You deserve to feel safe. You deserve to feel nourished and healthy and alive. You deserve to feel good about your body and your sexuality and the way you look.

How we value and feel about ourselves affects every area of our lives: relationships, career, parenting, and our own self-care and health. It’s powerful because it’s often unconscious and unexamined. In other words it has an influence even when you’re not aware that your self worth is playing a part.

Self worth comes across in our body language, the way we communicate, the way we carry ourselves. It plays a part in all the choices we make, who we date or choose as a partner, the goals we set or the dreams we let go.

If we suspect our self worth could use a little work, what next? Increasing self worth begins when you take an interest in yourself, when you bring awareness to the story you tell yourself about yourself. Become curious about what it really means to love yourself.

Suzanne E. Harrill is a writer and licensed counselor who has created a self esteem quiz. It’s not meant to be a precise test, think of it as a great starting point to identify areas you can strengthen. You can even use the questions as affirmations to build the muscle of self worth.

Whether you take the time to check it out or not…either way your self worth has a huge effect on your life. For some it may take a leap of faith, awkwardly saying affirmations, that at first, aren’t even believed. If you fall into this category, push through, go through the motions until you do believe in yourself. Please have the courage to be imperfect and love yourself anyway. You deserve it.